Silly Poem for Silly Kids (#2)

If My Mother Was A Walrus

If my mother was a Walrus,
I'd be so mad at her.
I'd be so embarrassed and nervous
for her to meet my friends.
She would smell real awful
and make loud terrible noises . . .
and then she'd try to smile
with those big fangs.
IT WOULD BE HORRIBLE !!!
I'd try to tell her to go back in the house
and she'd whack me with one of her flippers . . .
and I'd be out cold on a rock
for the rest of the day!
Then I'd finally come to
and there she'd be again . . . BIGTOOTH !!!
saying "Aw, honey, I wath only kidding! Give Momma a kith."
Yuck! A face full of blubber!
Poor me . . . if my mother was a Walrus!

Joanne Cucinello © 2008

Silly Poem for Silly Kids (#1)

If My Mother Was a Hyena


If my mother was a hyena,
I'd go to the drugstore
and buy earplugs!
I couldn't stand it . . .
laughing all day and all night.
Open the door . . . she's laughing
Close the door . . . she's laughing
Fall and cut your knee . . .
SHE'S LAUGHING!!!
I'd be jumping up and down on the bed
yelling "STOP THAT LAUGHING !!!!
And she'd run around the whole house
laughing even more!
My friend would ring the doorbell
and Mom would open the door . . .
and LAUGH . . .
right in his face!!!
And I know Joey,
he'd run and tell the whole neighborhood
"Hey, Mickey's mother's a laughing hyena!"

What would I do?
I'd have to go to school
with a brown paper bag over my head
and hope she didn't see me sneak
out the back door.

Poor me . . . if my mother was a Hyena !

Joanne Cucinello © 2008